The other morning when I woke Audrey up for school we had this conversation. "mom I can't go to school because my arms hurt!" I said " why do they hurt?" she says " because the teachers told me that whenever I want to say something I have to raise my hand." I say "okay that a rule most teachers use." she says " yes but my hand is up all the time." really we aren't surprised right?

Audrey was drinking cranberry juice during dinner and announces "this doesn't taste like cranberry juice it tastes like Burberry juice.

"I asked Audrey "What are you doing?" She says "BCDD" I said "what does that mean?" She says "It's short for throwing trash away!

The reasons why Audrey doesn't feel well in this order "I have a snotty nose, a bad cough, and when I wiggle I fall down." the first two aren't true!

"Audrey says "wow the gas that just bolted out of my bumm smelled like pumpkin guts and I didn't eat any pumpkin or the guts." I am left yet again just shaking my head.

While driving in the car with Audrey she says "lets play simon says...simon says take one hand off the wheel." "Ok" she says "simon says put one hand back on wheel" "ok" she says touch your toes..(I don't do it) ..very good listening mommy." then she says "simon says "stop driving now," I keep driving and she says "haha I knew I'd get you.

"I was on the phone for 30 seconds at the most while Audrey was listening to a Bieber song. She says to me in a very quiet voice "can you please turn your voice O F F?" (spelling the word to me).

Gel shoe inserts are called "stink stabbers" as per Audrey.

‎Audrey doesn't like being woken up in the morning. I said " come on sweetie time to get ready for school" she says in a robotic voice "I am a robot, know everything, and don't need school!" I said "how did you get so funny." she says " I'm like lady Gaga I was born that way

Then I found her writing like this. I said what are you doing? She says " I am writing this down so when I'm bigger you can order it

Most weeks the dry cleaning is just my husbands stuff. A couple of weeks ago however, I had a pink sweater in the mix, I forgot about it and it's still hanging in Aaron Strouts closet. Audrey says to me "mom does dad sometimes like to wear girl clothes? There is a sweater in his closet what is pink and it looks like it would be to small for him.

Audrey has been wearing these shoes of mine around the house the last few days. She asked if she could wear them to school. I said no. She say's "fine I can't wait till I'm your age like 66 and can wear high shoes