Dec 19, 2013

There is some silly putty that makes it way into everyone's hands around the house (random I know). Audrey is singing a made up song, walks over with a mic in one hand and silly putty in the other. She opens her hand to show me the SP and sings "you want this? You need to roll a Duce on the dice!" Closes her hand, walks away and keeps singing.

Dec 11, 2013

Audrey just said to me "Mom I can't remember are you 44 or 24?" Me: 24

Dec 9, 2013

Everywhere I go with Audrey she collects business cards. Mostly they are cards that are placed by check out counters. I have everything from plastic surgery to painting services to lawn care and doggy daycare. But the best was when she handed me the paper from target and said "mom, look you can get a job at Target, I didn't know they were hiring people! That would be like working at Disneyland! Your welcome"

Dec 2, 2013

Audrey gets a bag of Salt and Vinegar chips from the pantry and says "I hope I regret this....wait what does regret mean?"

Nov 5, 2013

Found Audrey reading the bible. 

Me: what are you doing?
Audrey: well Grammy and papa said there is a boy in their Sunday School that is young, and is really smart because he can read from the bible! So I decided to see if I could read from it!"
Me: so what did you find out?
Audrey: that I'm young and can read the bible too, so I'm just as smart!
Me: I agree with your assessment 
Audrey: what's a "sessment"

Oct 29, 2013

I told Audrey this morning that the Red Sox won last night and we are all so excited. She said "I know I know dad told me
Big Papi scored a field goal"

Oct 22, 2013

Conversation with Audrey this morning... Audrey: mom do you know what MYOB stands for? 
Me: yes, it means mind your own business
Audrey: do you know what IDK stands for? 
Me: yes, it means I don't know. 
( 10 minutes later)
Me: Audrey you need to grab a sweater it's a little brisk this morning. 
Audrey: IAKT AND IDC
me: wha? 
Audrey: mom it means I already know that and I don't care. Geez stay with the program!
Me: it's get...... Not stay
Audrey: huh?

Oct 17, 2013

Audrey told me today "Mom I found out that this boy Michael likes me. He chases me at recess and I asked him 'Michael which girls do you like?' He replied with "All the girls in our class". Audrey said to him "If you had to choose one girl." He said "I would choose you?" I said " Awe that's sweet!" She said "Mom, I told him that I pick my nose to just get him off my back, ya know what I mean?!?!" I said "Audrey, what did he say?" She says "He said 'That's fine with me I pick my nose too?" I giggled. Audrey said to me "Mom, boy trouble starts now and I have a long way to go" I'm thinking I do too....

Oct 17, 2013

Audrey has two smallish back-scratchers. While scratching my back with one of them she says " I am so glad I have two, because I use one a back-scratcher and the other as a butt-scratcher.....I just can't ever remember which is which!!!!!"

Oct 12, 2013

Audrey asked me what vegetarian means. I said it's people that don't eat meat. She said "you mean they don't eat Steak or Chicken?'" I said, that's right. Then she said "Wait does that mean that they don't eat bacon?" I said, right. She said " Wow! I feel soooo bad for them because bacon tastes sooo good!"

Sept 25, 2013

The new addition of Rolling Stone Magazine arrived today and has Miley Cyrus on the cover. Audrey says "She looks bad!!!Looks like she rode that party train to hard and now her life is a mess!" I said "ha remember that!"

Sept 13, 2013

This morning Audrey was in the car trying to put her sneakers on. They weren't cooperating and she was VERY frustrated. I said what's wrong honey? She said "these sneakers won't get on my feet, it's like trying to put a bowling ball in a tea cup....not happening any time soon!"

Sept 12, 2013

Audrey says to me very matter of fact "Mom Lilly (the cat) doesn't like being held like a baby or being put into my grocery cart with a blanket. I think she didn't like her legs in the leg holes and her tail looked awkward"

Sept 11, 2013

Audrey told me "with everything in my closet and drawers I still have nothing to wear!" Then later said "I wish I could go back in time to places I made bad decisions and make better ones!" I can identify with both those things...... though the second one for her left me scratching my head, what decision is she talking about?!?!

Sept 1, 2013

So we are doing the kids rooms
completely over. Audrey's original curtains work perfectly well in her new room. She was disappointed she wasn't getting new curtains like the other two kids. Aaron said "don't worry honey maybe sometime in the near future we can get you new ones!" She says "Well the future is happening each minute!"

August 29, 2013

When I woke Audrey up for school this morning she said "shhh, quietly open my top drawer and take the $5 dollars and .50 pennies, I'd like to buy more sleep please!" All with eyes still closed and under covers.

August 26, 2013

Audrey was reading to me tonight and read the word "Protested" as "Prostituted". I she then said "wait that's not right, what's that word and what's prostituted?"

August 23, 2013

Audrey said this to me "mom you are hilarious and complicated all at the same time!"

August 12, 2013

I swear I heard a needle cross a record when Audrey realized none of her friends were at the Pool and said "where the freaking hell are my friends!" Clearly she saw the look on my face because the next thing she said was "wait which is the bad one?"

August 11, 2013

Ben grabbed a Yoo-hoo this morning (he's never had one) Audrey took a sip and said "this Yoo-hoo should be named Yuck-hoo!"

August 7, 2013

Audrey asked me if she could see what our cat Max looked like when we got him. I told her I don't have any pictures of him then. She grabbed my phone and said "I'll just goole it!" I said "google what?" She said "I'll google 'Strouts' fat cat Max at one.' "

August 6, 2013

Woke up at 5am to head home. Sitting on the plane Audrey asked me if I put mascara under my eyes. She didn't mean my bottom lashes either!

July 12, 2013

At the Cabin in Maine she says this:
https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10151833706928646&l=3848959236001982473

July 6, 2013

While putting Audrey to bed tonight she asked if she could stay up later. I said "no it's time for bed." She says "mom hashtag yolo it's summer!"

June 29, 2013

Yesterday Ben grabbed Audrey's water bottle and took a giant swig and Audrey yelled " hey mister don't you mouthwash back into my water!"

June 26, 2013

Audrey asks me this as a serious question: "mom what's the difference between a donkey and an ass and why sometimes do they call him jack?!?" Me: ummm huh?

June 18, 2013

this is Audrey performing. Just being herself.
https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10151783862313646&l=4293424230567198763

June 17, 2013

I was in my closet organizing a few things when Audrey comes in very frustrated and says "mom didn't you hear me calling you?" I said "no" (house was silent) she says "well I was calling you and calling you with my mind why didn't you hear me? You always say you know everything that's going on, you have eyes in the back of your head, and you hear everything! How come it only works for the bad stuff and not when I need juice?!?"

June 13, 2013

Anyone that knows me well knows that I have zero problem discussing the details associated with the "facts of life" with my children and see it as an on going conversation, not a one time deal. All of which is determined not by age but by emotional maturity. Recently, Audrey has been asking a lot about where babies come from. While I know intellectually she could handle the facts, I feel emotionally she isn't ready, she would want to let everyone else she knows in on it. So, for now babies come from God. She asked me "does God let you choose if you have a girl or boy?" I said "No" she said "Really? thats a rip off I'm going to have to pray to God and let him know my plan" I said "great let me know how that works out later."

June 11, 2013

For awhile now Audrey has complained that she doesn't like her given name "Audrey Catherine Strout" and asks me to change her name. I tell her "no I'm not changing it but when you are an adult you can!" Then I always ask "what will you change it to?" She says "I don't know yet mom it's a process!" The other day she comes to me and say "I've got it, my new name will be "Caroline Catherine Strout" I said "oh really, why?" She says "cause it's catchy"

June 3, 2013

Audrey's kindergarten teacher wrote me and told me that on the last day of school Audrey asked her if she "could address the whole class." Her teacher said "yes". Audrey proceeded to say "I wanted to thank you all for a wonderful year and I know by your faces when you are happy or sad and I can tell that you are all happy today. I love you all and will miss you this summer."

May 30, 2013

Audrey told me "I can't wait for school to be out so I can spend some quality time with my iPad and not have to rush to school in the mornings or hurry and take a shower and then go right to bed. I just want to chill." Meanwhile, each student in her class (including Audrey) through the school, has their own iPad.

May 8, 2013

Olivia is studying all about the reproductive system in health. She said today "I want to have a baby but I don't want to be pregnant or deliver a baby because it looks like it all hurts, but I want a child that's mine!" Audrey said "Liv you can just marry a girl and she can have the baby for you!" So, there you go....

April 28, 2013

Last night while putting Audrey to bed she decided she was hungry. I told her to go down stairs and get a banana which she promptly did. As she came into her room with. Mouth full of food she said to me "mom you know why I didn't eat a banana?" I said "no why?" She said "because bananas are soooo 5 years ago."

April 22, 2013

Caught Audrey with my phone reading my text messages. I said to her "hey, please don't read my text messages!" She says "mom it's a really good way for me to practice my reading skills." I said "you already have great reading skills!" She says "yes but I need to have mad skills mom, that's skills with a Z"

April 21,2013

Audrey says to me "mom I think you need a parenting lesson. Rule number 1: always say yes to your kids, that's the way to be the best mom ever." I say "umm no it doesn't work that way!" She says "you just failed parenting class!"

April 16, 2013

Audrey wasn't happy with what I served for dinner tonight. She demanded that I make her something else. I told her "No, this is what's for dinner, I am not a short order cook and there is no menu!" She said "oh man it's like you're ripping my heart out or something!" Then pulls this heart out from inside of her top! Did she plan this?

April 11, 2013

Audrey asks me "Mom what is puberty?" I say "it's the time in a persons life when their bodys begin to change and look less like a child and more like an adult." She says "oh like Olivia!" I said "yes." With a completely straight face she looks at me and says "When are you going to go through puberty?" Me: blink blink

March 29, 2013

Audrey said "I want to paint!" I say "No I don't want to clean up the mess!" She says "I'll do it outside." I say "No." She says "Mom you are crushing my dream of being an artist, can you live with that?" She is painting

March 22,2013

Audrey had been in bed about 20 minutes, I thought she was asleep. She called for me so I went to her room and said what do you need, why aren't you asleep? She said "I can't sleep because I need you to answer two questions for me...1. What do caveman babies look like and 2. Did you buy your car with a credit card?" Me = I don't know and no!

March 20, 2013

Yesterday, I was in the car hurrying to get Olivia from school and Audrey was talking non-stop as I was trying to pull out into very heavy traffic with 6 cars behind me. Suddenly I am aware that Audrey has her fist to her mouth like a microphone and is tapping it with her other finger saying "hey is this thing on?" I laughed out loud and she says "Finally! I'll be here all week."

March 14, 2013

I said to Audrey "please stop being an instigator with your brother!" She says "mom I can't help it, he makes me not be a beautiful nice girl and he makes be mean and evil and takes me to the dark side."

January 23, 2013

"Audrey made her own lunch today. A Peanut butter and banana sandwich with a side of Hershey chocolate."

Jan 21, 2013

This is the way Audrey goes through life