Dec 30, 2015

The other night while family was visiting from out of town I told, we were all hanging out having a great time I told Audrey several times she need to get ready for bed. She was doing her best to ignore me. I mentioned it again and she looked up at me and says "mom if you go in my room, in my drawer is my wallet, take $50 out!" Then she put her pointer finger to her nose and said "shhhh"

Dec 28, 2015

Audrey says "Mommom (her grandmother, my mom) was here 10 days and there are 7 desserts in the house!"

Dec 17, 2015

Audrey says, referring to our cat Max, "Oh my gosh, he stinks at both ends....his mouth and his butt. Yuck!!!"

Nov 29, 2015

Audrey says "my snot is as green as a pear in a pear farm!"

Me: thanks for sharing!

Nov 18, 2015

So as per my previous post, anyone that wants a peek into Audrey's brain and how it works....here is a sample! I think 2 and 4 are my favorite!

Nov 18, 2015

Audrey says to me "Sometimes I wish I could get into someone's brain and sit there with some popcorn and see how their brain works. Then I could change a few things too." Me:

Nov 16, 2015

Audrey speaking of her own life, and not anything to do with things happening in the world, says " So when bad things happen it's not from God because God is only good, and it's not from satan because satan isn't real, so basically bad stuff is karma!" ‪#‎lifelesson‬

Nov 10, 2015

When waking Audrey this morning, her eyes not yet open, she says, "mom you would be proud of me I was having an educational dream because I was reading in it!" I said "oh that's good." She says "not really I'd rather be awake!"

October 20, 2015

Audrey was munching on a carrot and says "eww this carrot tastes like kitty litter!" I think to myself.... She would know because she ate a small handful of used kitty litter when she was 17 months old that I had to floss out from between her teeth! ‪#‎EwwIsRight‬

October 12, 2015

Audrey just says to me " oh my gosh mom do you have a bald spot..... Oh no that's just gray hair!" Me: thanks

September 18, 2015

So Audrey has a ring that is now miss shaped. So she got a turkey baster and put her ring on the small end of it and then used the non whisk end of a whisk and hammered it into place! ‪#‎supersmart‬ ‪#‎ingenius‬

September 1, 2015

So the other day Audrey walks into the room and this was our conversation:
Me: hi sweetie, what have you been doing? 
Audrey: I was in Olivia's room and she was trying to get me to say bad words soooo that was boring and I left! 
Me: OLIVIA

August 21, 2015

Audrey says to me..."mom sometimes I feel like when I whisper something it's black and white and then when I talk in a normal voice it's live and in color" me:

August 18, 2015

Lilly and Max ( our two cats) do not like each other..... at all! Often Max is an instigator, he will purposely walk over to Lilly which makes her hiss an a fight starts. Today, Audrey witnessing Max headed in the direction of Lilly says "Max make good decisions and good things will happen.... It's called Karma!"

August 9, 2015

Audrey's question for today... "Mom when you are in juvie do you have a toilet that is in your cell or a hallway bathroom like in school?"

August 8, 2015

Audrey says "Mom I have an email from Papa (her dads, dad) asking me to join him on LinkedIn..... I'm not even on that yet because I don't have a job! What do I do?" 

Me: giggling

July 11, 2015

The other night on our way back from dinner we walked passed Big Ben and we point it out to Audrey, she says "well I can check that off my bucket list!" I didn't even know it was on her list!

July 6, 2015

Benjamin was really picking on Audrey today. Finally she looks at me and says "can't you send him to obedient school like they have for dogs?"

May 28, 2015

Walked into the kitchen to see Audrey wrist deep in a huge tub of vaseline, an open eyeshadow palette (with 30 shades in it), 2 bowls and chopsticks being used for stirring. 

Me: Audrey what are you doing? 
Audrey: Let me start with this, you need to remind me to think things all the way through. I was trying to make lip gloss! Huge mistake huge. 
Me: okay, well...
Audrey: (interrupts me) I know, I know, clean it up. You've been telling me that since I was 2!

May 14, 2015

Audrey says to me while in the car " I am really using my eyes, my whole eye to see everything around me as art, because everything is beautiful. I think most people only use half of their eye and don't see the beauty that is right around them." ME: .......

April 20, 2015

The backstory: In Audrey's class you can earn "money" by doing certain jobs or good things. Then they can use the "money" to buy special privileges. But if you are loud or misbehaving in any way you can get money taken away from you. Also, recently her teacher went on maternity leave and she has a retired sub for the remainder of the year. 

Recent conversation: Audrey: Man I am so frustrated I used to have so much money and then my teacher left and now I have this sub.
ME: Why don't you have any money?
Audrey: Let's just say it's not because I'm buying so many privileges!!!!!

March 27, 2015

Audrey: What kind of car do you think you'll buy me when I'm older? 
Me: I don't know we'll have to see what's out then! 
Audrey: I want a Cadillac.... a big one!
Me:

March 24, 2015

I asked Audrey "How was school today?" She says " it was mostly good, except P.E. that's awful! There are two teams and the one team wins all the time, it's like they have magnets stuck on them and the winning goes to them and it's like my team has soap and winning slides off and slips right out of our hands!!!"

March 17, 2015

Audrey took a hot shower then immediately put on a pair of skinny jeans and was complaining that they were to tight. I said take them off let you skin cool down then they will be fine. She hops into her bed with just underwear on and says "wow now I know what dad feels like! Comfy!"

March 2, 2015

Audrey: mom when I grow up I'm going to go to college in France and take English as my language. Do you know why? 
Me: no I don't know why!
Audrey: because I would totally nail English, I mean nail it!!!!!! Reading, writing, speaking perfectly! It's an easy A. 
Me: shakes head

February 24, 2015

Tomorrow is book fair for Audrey. She was able to preview today. 
Audrey: Mom I found a book I want and it's $4.75 and I'm going to pay with my money.
Me: Okay, well just take $6.00 and you'll get some change.
Audrey: But it's only $4.75 why do I need $6
Me: Oh because there is tax
Audrey: What's tax?
Me: Well most states and the government add a certain amount of money to your purchase for them to make some money (keepin it simple)
Audrey: Well I don't like that. I don't want to pay tax. I want to pay $4.75
Me: I know sweetie, I know.

February 18, 2015

Me: Audrey (while she is in the shower) please wash and get out you're little they don't need to take so long!
Audrey: mom I know I fight you about getting into the shower, but once I'm in I have to sing. So each shower is about 5 songs long. Just roll with it!
Me: head shake

February 17, 2015

Audrey: What shoes should I wear to school today?
Me: Your black flats.
Audrey: I have worn those so many times. I need new shoes, lots of them.
Me: You have lots of shoes, plenty as a matter of fact.
Audrey: When I am bigger I want to have so many shoes that I can wear a different pair everyday.....that is my wish.
Me: Mine too.

February 4, 2015

Audrey asked me "what's the difference between ballet and hip hop?" So, I stand up and I give her a small visual demonstration. She says "wow you're hurting my eyes!"