Audrey with brush in hand asks if she could do my hair. I say "sure" as I take the pony tail holder out. She says "Mom you hair looks like you didn't take the holder out....I'm freaked out and think it needs a wash." I said "it's clean I put it back wet." she says "mom really? Do I look like I'm buying what you're selling?

When I picked Audrey up from school today she showed me a band aid on her thumb. I said " what happened?" she says " well I had a little piece of up skin so I bit it off and it turned red so I knew it was bleed and needed a band aid." yes I typed all of it correctly!

While Audrey was selecting her outfit last night for school today she says "Mom how about you pick something then I'll pick something and I can choose?" I say "no just pick it out that way you will wear it in the morning!" She says " look mom we can do this the hard way or MY way, what's your choice....you don't want the hard way seriously.

So Audrey loves mothers day because she likes to make me breakfast in bed with the help of her dad. The other day she said "mom there is a boy in my class that has two moms." I say "oh that's nice." she says " yes but it must be a real problem on mothers day! Who gets the breakfast?

Audrey wanted to spend sometime swinging on our swings. After a few pushes she says "Mom mom you can stop now I can pump you know". I said "oh okay pump away." she says 30 seconds later "can you push me?" I say "no you said you can pump." she says "remember I'm a princess and they don't pump." I said "Well if you are a princess that makes me a queen." Before I could say anything else she interrupts me and says "aww man that's not fair because you are the mom and will always be the queen and I'll never get to be the boss of you.

Audrey returning from a friends house had creamy rouge on her cheeks so thick you could carve your initials in it. This was the bath conversation. Me: Audrey why so much?" Audrey: because we were trying to look like a hot mess, and because of how much makeup we had on we were really hot hot messes! Me: wow not sure what to say.

Audrey comes out of school today and asks me " do you know what a tortel is?" i said "huh.?" she says it's an animal that walks on land." I said do you mean a turtle?" she said " yes but no it's the other one." I say tortoise? She says "yes that's it... Tortel, tortoise you knew what I meant