November 19, 2012
"Audrey expressed her frustration about the lunch lady consistently calling her "AuBrey" like this: "I just wish I could get inside her head and fix it so it was smart and she would call me Audrey."
November 18, 2012
"Audrey has a wooden magic wand that her Papa made for her. Recently she has been creating spells and casting them. Here are 3 very important one she told me about. If she yells "mayonasia" Mayonaise will appear anywhere she would like. If she yells "Patreckia" she will make you grow a mustache on your face. If she yells "Robickia" She will make her sister stop talking. Me: Robickia, Robickia, Robickia......nothing."
November 13, 2012
"Audrey dumped a large pile of candy in my lap and asked If she could eat it. I said no because that would ruin your dinner. She says "let's play a game, you say everything I say!" Then says "CAT (cat) DOG (dog) YOU CAN EAT YOR CANDY" me: no"
November 7, 2012
My mom is here visiting and says to Audrey " you are S.M.A.R.T (she spelled it so Audrey go figure out what she was spelling) and Audrey says "awesome?"
November 1, 2012
"Me: Audrey if you have any candy you don't want let me know! Audrey: ummm okay how about if I give you my mints and raisins!" Me: no thanks!"
October 24, 2012
Audrey entertaining me while waiting for Ben at the dentist!
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October 23, 2012
Audrey doing some extra homework for fun must sound out a word and think of a rhyming word. First one to sound out is "cook" she sounds it out like this "c aw c" the C sounds like K. It made me giggle!
October 19, 2012
Audrey and I are outside where she is playing with a rope. She explains what she wants to do with it and I explain why what she wants to do won't actually work. She says "your world is so complicated. In my world things always work!
October 19, 2012
udrey gets off the bus and very seriously says this "mom my friend at school when she was 3 knocked her tooth out because she fell on the conkreek!
October 16, 2012
Walking passed a mailbox with the numbers 10604 on it Audrey says " 1 0 6 0 4 what kind of lame phone number is that?" I say it's a house number. She say's "either way you slice it, it's lame"
October 16, 2012
Having a discussion with Audrey about the fact that she does to much talking and not enough eating during dinner. I told her I was going to make a rule that she can't talk until she's finished. She says " mom really? I'm not a rule follower, so that won't work with me."
October 9, 2012
October 8, 2012
October 3, 2012
Audrey said she learned about sound waves and ear canals today. She grabbed a flashlight and started looking in my ear and said " mom put one hand over your other ear and your other hand over your eyes so the light doesn't escape!
October 3, 2012
Audrey and our Mail delivery lady have a pen pal relationship. The other day she was very busy creating and writing for her. She put it in an envelope and in the mail box it went. Today she received a note back. When she opened it she said "awe man, I asked her for $100 and all she did was write words to me.
So the other night while putting Audrey to bed she says to me "when someone sneezes you say bless you, right?" I say "yes" she says "what do you say when someone coughs?" I say "nothing" she says " that's not right I think we should say blessness..... You. Yeah that's it blessness you." I said "okay!" a few minutes pass and she says "mom do you need to cough?
While shopping with my girls they were asking for a lot of things. I said yes to something they both wanted and certainly weren't expecting me to say yes. Immediately after Audrey was asking for something else and Olivia said "Audrey don't push the envelope mom already said yes." Audrey says " Liv what envelope are you talking about?
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While putting Audrey to bed last night she says to me "mom you know I was born special right?" I said "special what do you mean by that?" She said "well when I was in your belly I could feel the sun and when I was being born your belly was pointing to the sun and the sun gave me special powers. So now I have special energy because of it.
Audrey was sitting on my lap with her legs hanging off the side of mine. I was bouncing my leg up and down with that "nervous energy" bounce when suddenly she puts her hands on my bouncing leg and presses down really hard. I stopped. Then she starts bouncing her leg really hard and says "how does that feel...not that good right!
"It's safe to that Audrey may be a cat whisperer based on all that she can get away with. Well while on vacation in Maine Audrey did some fishing for the first time. Apparently she has the same skill with Fish. Just about each time that line went in she got one, including an 18" Bass. Her sister Olivia Strout asked her what her secret was and Audrey responds "In my head I just say to them come over little fishy I have a yummy worm for you
As I am packing Audrey for our vacation she is following me in and out of her closet talking her head and mine off. Finally she says "Really mom you expect me to wear this dress? I never wear this dress! I need to have a say in what we take. I mean it's my body and I'm going to decide what it wears.
Audrey is a hair twirler, hers and anyone else's she can get her fingers on. The other night she apparently woke up at 9ish pm and called for me. I didn't hear the call but Ben did. He went into her room and asked what was wrong. She said she was having trouble sleeping. He asks " Audrey do you want to twirl my hair and I'll tickle your back?" Ben has a buzz cut. But they tried.
Audrey had her official birthday party this past Monday. Yesterday she was giving me a recap of all the stuff that she thought was fun. One thing she said was... "oh and one of my bff's Reagan sang Happy birthday really loud, told me I looked like a princess, gave me some flowers she picked and that made me feel all kinds uh Razzel dazzel inside.
So Audrey says to me "mom I want to look at Macy's clothes!" I said "what does that mean?" She says "I want to look on your computer for clothes at Macy's." I said "okay" She then picks out a dress on sale for $80 and I said "I'm not buying you an $80 dress." She says "fine I'll buy it when you're dead and at least you said "no" instead of "I'll think about it" because we all know when you say that it means we have to wait for you to eventually just say no.
We have a good friend that is expecting a baby any day now. Audrey asks " when the baby is ready to come out does it just drop into your underpants?" I said "no not quite like that." She says " Wow a baby must be the size of a pickle to come out of your vagina." I say " yes except it's a 9 pound pickle
Audrey says "mom did you know there is a difference between a party and havin a PA-TA (the TA has a long A sound ) A party is just some people hangin but havin a PA-TA is when the whole world is invited and the music is super loud and really all you can hear is the bass." I am left just shaking my head.
Audrey with brush in hand asks if she could do my hair. I say "sure" as I take the pony tail holder out. She says "Mom you hair looks like you didn't take the holder out....I'm freaked out and think it needs a wash." I said "it's clean I put it back wet." she says "mom really? Do I look like I'm buying what you're selling?
While Audrey was selecting her outfit last night for school today she says "Mom how about you pick something then I'll pick something and I can choose?" I say "no just pick it out that way you will wear it in the morning!" She says " look mom we can do this the hard way or MY way, what's your choice....you don't want the hard way seriously.
Audrey wanted to spend sometime swinging on our swings. After a few pushes she says "Mom mom you can stop now I can pump you know". I said "oh okay pump away." she says 30 seconds later "can you push me?" I say "no you said you can pump." she says "remember I'm a princess and they don't pump." I said "Well if you are a princess that makes me a queen." Before I could say anything else she interrupts me and says "aww man that's not fair because you are the mom and will always be the queen and I'll never get to be the boss of you.
Audrey returning from a friends house had creamy rouge on her cheeks so thick you could carve your initials in it. This was the bath conversation. Me: Audrey why so much?" Audrey: because we were trying to look like a hot mess, and because of how much makeup we had on we were really hot hot messes! Me: wow not sure what to say.
The other morning when I woke Audrey up for school we had this conversation. "mom I can't go to school because my arms hurt!" I said " why do they hurt?" she says " because the teachers told me that whenever I want to say something I have to raise my hand." I say "okay that a rule most teachers use." she says " yes but my hand is up all the time." really we aren't surprised right?
While driving in the car with Audrey she says "lets play simon says...simon says take one hand off the wheel." "Ok" she says "simon says put one hand back on wheel" "ok" she says touch your toes..(I don't do it) ..very good listening mommy." then she says "simon says "stop driving now," I keep driving and she says "haha I knew I'd get you.
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Most weeks the dry cleaning is just my husbands stuff. A couple of weeks ago however, I had a pink sweater in the mix, I forgot about it and it's still hanging in Aaron Strouts closet. Audrey says to me "mom does dad sometimes like to wear girl clothes? There is a sweater in his closet what is pink and it looks like it would be to small for him.
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Audrey comes running into the room & says "Mom were is your computer? I need to make a facebook page for myself right away. I just found out that Justin Beiber has one. I AM SURE HE WOULD BE MY FRIEND or does he follow me?" I say no friends are on FB and followers are twitter. She says "oh that's right.
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"Audrey asks "how far are we from New Orleans?" knowing that she doesn't get 15 minutes but does get 1 sponge bob show, that is what I tell her. She asks "is that the same as 1 1/2 pink panther shows?" I said I don't know how long they are. With her palms facing each other with a distance of 8 inches in between says "about this far
Audrey watching a show about hurricanes. She looks at me and says "Mom 15 million people lost their homes, million mom million. Oh if only spongebob were real he could suck up all that water then they could have a house again. Where are those people going to live....they need a house so they have power. What's going to happen?" Lots of questions"
"Yesterday was a sad day in the Strout house. Audrey had to lay her "cowgirl" boots to rest. She literally wore them out. She said goodbye to them several times before going in the trash. Driving to school with new shoes on her feet says in a very melancholy voice..."boy things sure are different and won't be the same again." I said " what are you talking about" She said " those boots were awesome and I rocked every outfit with them." I said "we can buy you new ones for Kindergarten if you want?" Her response. "Woohoo I will rule in Kindergarten." No doubt in my mind.
Yesterday after Audrey got home from school she asked for chocolate milk. After her first sip she complained that it didn't taste good. (Milk generally doesn't have a chance to go bad in our home as we go through about 4 gallons a week). She mentioned it several times. FInally I asked what it tasted like. She said "Mom it tastes like crap with tomato, chocolate and milk
At Christmas Audrey received a $20 bill from one of her Great Grandmothers. Just the other day she received $2 additional dollars from her Great Aunt Karen Lothrop. Yesterday for a brief second Aaron Strout and I were discussing what it would take to put a pool in our backyard. Audrey quickly offered her $22 towards the $30,000 or so thousand it would take. Today while taking her to school she says "Mom do you still have my money to pay for the pool?" I said "Yes." She says "great I can't wait till school is over today so I can go swimming." Not sure how to break it to her.
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Overheard this: Olivia yells to Audrey "Hey Audrey come her for a minute." Audrey says "What do you want?" Olivia says "I want to tell you a secret." Audrey says "no you don't, you're going to fart." Olivia says no I'm not "Audrey says "then you are going to tell me I'm adopted." Olivia says "no I'm not." I walk into the room and Audrey looks at me and says " I don't know what you heard but I'm not buying what she's selling." I say "good cal
The other day after picking Audrey up from school she says with anger in her voice "Mom, my armpits have been sweating all day and I want to rip them off my body. You could fix this for me if you just bought me deodorant. Seriously mom can you just do that?" I say "No Audrey you don't need it." She responds with "fine I will just start using dads, I can reach his you know.
"Suddenly realized that I wasn't exactly sure where Audrey was. I found her in the guest bathroom. She was inside the shower (enclosed in glass with a door not a curtain) with Lilly. She had Lilly's food dish, water dish, a power bar, a book and a teddy bear. I said "what are you doing?" she said " I have figured out how to get quality time with Lilly and she can't run away, I thought of everything she needs. Actually, mom can't you get me the litter box?
"Audrey saw a commercial on TV for Shirley Temple's movies all fixed up and digitally perfected. She says to me "Mom that girl Shirley Temple, she can't sing I sing better then she does. She looks weird too, she looks young but old. Why does she get to do movies....I think I should get to do movies.
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