December 17, 2014

Audrey came home the other day from school and said: "Mom this boy at school told me that Santa isn't real and that it's your mom and dad!" I said "oh wow, really?" She says "Is it true? I have to know! Because when I have kids I have to know what to do so they have presents!"

November 25, 2014

Yesterday Audrey got about 6 inches cut off her hair. In the car on the way home she said "Man it's amazing how a good cut can make a girl feel!" Then later at dinner she said " This haircut completes me or I'm completed by my haircut ....or something like that!"

October 10, 2014

When Audrey walked in the door from school I said to her "there has been a change in plans for tonight!" Before I could say another word, she rolled her eyes and in an exasperated voice says "there's always something"

October 8, 2014

I woke Audrey up this morning at her regular time and hurried her to get dressed so she could go out back and see the Lunar Eclipse. Once outside she turned to me and said "My eyes are open but my brain is in bed asleep, which is where I want to be, so can we chat about this later it's difficult to think without my brain." ‪#‎notamorningperson‬

September 26, 2014

When Audrey got off the bus this afternoon I asked her "how was your day." She says "Great! But here's the dilly, it's Friday, we should go out to dinner then just chill...comprende?" I say "wait what?" She says "wait what's comprende?" Meanwhile I'm stuck on dilly

September 18, 2014

I think she thinks she has a YouTube channel about fashion. #funnygirl

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152759204128646&l=6567407845683957783

September 18, 2014

Audrey's other front tooth is hanging on by shear will right now. She is very nervous about pulling it out. I said "Please let me pull it out!" She says "I'm nervous like a tiny little kitty cat, curled up in a ball, hiding in a tree house!"

September 17, 2014

I use Aveda shampoo and conditioner. Audrey showed in my shower and used it. After her shower she says "mom smell my hair it smells just like the bug spray we use at Grammy and Papa's place in Maine." #notagoodthing

September 17, 2014

A sentence you don't expect to say to your child "Audrey please stop doing the limbo!!!"

Sept 10, 2014

So the instructions for Audrey's shower were a little different tonight as I wanted her to leave the conditioner in her hair a little longer. Apparently she needed a to-do list and it needed to be taped to the outside of the glass wall

Sept 5, 2014

So I noticed that Audrey had painted on her art table. I said to her "Audrey I don't want you painting on your art table, please use paper!!!" She says " Mom, I'm an artist. My brain doesn't see art always on paper, my brain sees where paint needs to make things pretty." I am now very afraid for the rest of our furniture and any empty wall space

Aug 27, 2014

I said to Audrey this morning "what happened to your hair last night it crazy!" She says "I had a dream I was driving in a convertible and my hair got all knotty and crazy and look at it! Can't have those kinds of dreams any more!"

Aug 5, 2014

Audrey showed me this photo of Audrey Hepburn the other day and said " mom this is who I want to be for Halloween this year. I don't know what that thing is in her mouth but, I think it's a paint brush and I have one like it, so that's perfect! "

July 30, 2014

Audrey texted me what she would like for lunch!

July 26, 2014

Audrey was rating fast food chicken nuggets today. It's important to note that on this scale 1 is the best. She says to me "Mom on a scale of 1 to McDonalds what would you give Wendy's?"

July 13, 2014

While at the grocery store with Olivia and Audrey the other day Olivia wanted to buy a frozen kid Cuisine for her and Audrey. She remembered having one as little girl so it was nostalgia. They are nasty! As they were coming out of the oven I said "those are disgusting!" Audrey said "don't confuse the D's, not disgusting but delicious!"

July 4, 2014

Audrey just finished watching "Enchanted" with Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey. She says at the end.... " wait isn't she too young to be married?" I said "no I don't think so!" Audrey says "Well it seems like she's 20 and he's super old like 44."

June 28, 2014

So we went to Dylan's Candy Bar with the kids today. Audrey says this about the Charleston Chew..." Wait it's marshmallow and chocolate.... It's like a s'more without the cracker!!!"

June 20, 2014

Audrey: mom I think we should play 3 rounds of uno. 
Me: okay
Audrey: I plan to win all three and am prepared to put a little skin in the game. 
Me: ???? 
Audrey: I've got 5 bucks! 
Me: you're on!

June 8, 2014

Yesterday we celebrated Audrey's bday in Santa Monica. She customized her own Converse sneakers. I was perplexed by the mustache addition. When asked "why do you want a mustache?" She says "it's like the sugar in ice cream, it just makes it good!"

May 30, 2014

Audrey says to me "mom there are 3 perfect boys for me in my grade. They have brown hair and brown eyes and like sports, like football and baseball.... ones I like. Not sports like Chess or Checkers." I said "well Chess and Checkers aren't a sport." She says "it has to be because you break a sweat when you play football or baseball and when you get nervous about your next move you sweat too! Trust me it's a different kind of sport, I just can't get into it!"

May 28, 2014

Audrey let me know today that "high heels just make outfits look better!"

May 27, 2014

This is Audrey's art station. Yesterday we organized it from it's usual chaotic state. I made a "throw away" pile. After a bit she said "where are we putting that pile?" I said "oh this is the trash." She said "Mom you can't throw that stuff away, it will be like throwing a little piece of me away!" At that point I realized I'd be throwing it away when she was distracted and I can't include her in organize project.

May 21, 2014

A little tutorial from Audrey...

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152540728583646&l=31199223330866880

April 30, 2014

You know those moments in life where you brain and mouth conspire against you and a word comes out completely garbled?!?! Well that happened to me tonight while putting Audrey to bed. While in a full giggle she looks at me and says "umm mouth typo wanna try again?" Me: not amused!

April 29, 2014

So the other day we discovered that we had a leak in the main water line into the house. As a result the water to the house was shut off for a few hours. The guys said that each toilet could be used and flushed once while water was off. Audrey decided to create a handy chart for the family to use. The left column indicates the toilet location and the right column is who has used it with a check box included just so no one's confused. #funnykid

April 25, 2014

Occasionally Audrey will have a tough time going to sleep. If she doesn't receive the right kind of attention she will throw a fit! She will complain that she has growing pains in her legs. ( based on the number of these pains she should be 6 feet tall) The other night in the middle of one of these episodes Aaron and I were not going up to be with her because she needed to get over it. We sent Ben up to shower and suddenly it was completely quite! We thought great she's tired herself out! 5 minutes later Ben comes down and says " So I gave Audrey a smarties candy and told her it was special medicine that will help. I told her to get out of bed and had her do some leg stretches, then I put her back in bed, told her I loved her and just to be calm and go to sleep!" AND IT TOTALLY WORKED!!! Boy genius!

Next morning I asked her what happened. She said "Ben helped me. But he gave me candy and told me it was special medicine and I was like okay!"

April 12, 2014

So Audrey gives this very watery substance to me and says "this is for you, I made you some lotion!" 1. I have no idea what ingredients she used! And 2 the Romano cheese container was in the recycling bin! I'm afraid!

April 5, 2014

Gifts of love from my littlest love Audrey!


https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152433447323646&l=2512904745317980449

March 30,2014

Took Audrey to Michaels craft store today to pick out a "special treat". Upon entering the store Audrey says "I think I want handcuffs!" I said "no" and was to afraid to ask why!

March 17, 2014

This morning on our ride to school:
Audrey: I wonder when I will see the next waxing or waning gibbous moon? 
Me: umm no clue. 

Later the same day at dinner... 
Me: Audrey please keep eating so you can get finished!
Audrey: O to the K mom .... But it's not easy

March 15, 2014

Audrey (6 yrs old) wrote this. Just found it on the counter. Need to ask her how she masters #4!

March 11, 2014

While packing everyone for a little 4 day spring break trip, Audrey brings me ALL (15 pair mostly flip flops) of her shoes to pack. I said "Audrey that's way to many!!" Audrey says "Mom, really? A girl needs options!!!!"

March 4, 2014

15 minutes after Audrey has been put to bed I hear her calling me.... 
Audrey: I can't sleep
Me: why? 
Audrey: I have all these funny giggly thoughts running through my head and I can't sleep. 
Me: huh! What should we do? 

Then she says in a totally serious voice...

"Mom, sometimes I think my brain tries to sabotage my sleep!!!

March 1, 2014

Walking into Walgreens Audrey asks if she can get some gum. I say sure. Once in, she says "oh I don't want the gum I want these fake nails!" Me: umm no!

Feb 21, 2014

Audrey asking if we could do something I said "I don't know, maybe." She says "mom I wasn't born last night, I was born in the day and I know that means no!" Actually, she was born at night, 9:57 to be exact.

Feb 17, 2014

As I was putting Audrey to bed she asks "why wasn't the Mona Lisa smiling in her portrait and why don't we listen to more jazz?"

Feb 1, 2014

So in keeping with Audrey and the target theme, she knows we would like to purchase new stools for our kitchen counter. There need to be 6 and this isn't a small investment and we are taking our time. On Friday she brought her computer to me to show me stools that she found on sale for half the price from target! I said "wow those are perfect" she said "okay mom I added 6 to the cart do you want to check out?" As I look at the cart it includes that $198 in clothes and shoes she already added from the other day. She's available for hire as a personal shopper!

Jan 29, 2014

Audrey just asked me.... " mom back in the 50's and 80's was everything in the world black and white? Like the grass and houses and furniture?" Me: well I wasn't alive in the 50's but the world was always in color .... Just movies and TVs and photos were black and white!" how old does she think I am?

Jan 22, 2014

Audrey yelling from the other room...
Audrey: Mom what size clothes do I wear? 
Me: 7/8
Audrey: what size shoe?
Me: 2

30 minutes later she brings me her computer and says

Audrey: so what is your CC number? I was on the target website and was looking at clothes and shoes I wanted and I added them to the cart! 

Me: wha?!?! (Looking in disbelief) No, I'm not spending $198 on that stuff now.

Audrey: I think my heart just broke!

Me: I think you were breaking my wallet!

Feb 10, 2014

Yesterday we made homemade Red Velvet and chocolate chunk ice cream. Tonight, Olivia asks why with almost the same ingredients it takes so different then chocolate ice cream? I said "oh, do you know the history of Red Velvet from the depression?" She says "yes". Audrey says "Wait, Liv you read the bible?"

Jan 10, 2013

In our kitchen where most people would have a table to eat at we have an art table and small play kitchen for Audrey. As a result when the sun hits the floor in just the right way you can see all the glitter that has fallen to the floor and is impossible to get up. Today Audrey says to me "Mom I have a problem, but it's more like addiction, addiction to glitter I think it needs to be thrown away! But maybe not just right now, in a few months. I just love it!"